How To Have Awesome Tinder Dates: Advice To GIRLS from a guy who cares

I’ve been on lots of Tinder dates (with girls). Many of those girls I’ve ended up becoming friends with. This and the fact that I like to think of myself as a decent sort of person has led me to care about the girls I’ve gone out with, and notice that many of them go on a lot of unnecessarily shitty dates. At worst they end up having sex with guys they wish they hadn’t, or at “best” in very awkward dating situations feeling unsatisfied or misled.

Fortunately with just three changes to they way you deal with the guys you talk to all of this can be pretty easily avoided.

1. Using Tinder girls often end up on “awkward dates”. They texted with the guy and found him charming, but in person there’s just no chemistry. Solution to solving this problem: Have a quick Skype or Google chat (whatever video chat app you use) before you meet. This can save you a lot of time! Once you decide you might want to meet a guy (you can create a “fake account” if you feel the need to so as to not use your real identity) say to him “Hey, you seem cool. I’m up for tea/drink/coffee, but I always like to meet on “Skype” for a second before I go on a date with a stranger. I’m running out the door, but I’ve just got 5min. Here’s my Skype: username.” Then you both jump on Skype, after 5min you say you need to run. From there you can asses as to whether you actually want to go on a date with the guy. It will only have cost you 5min of your life from the comfort of your own home, and any guy who’s not willing to do this isn’t worth going on a date with anyway. Most guys will really appreciate and respect you for this. I know I would. 

2. Girls end up getting somewhat “raped” …I say somewhat because it’s not totally against their will, but it’s with a lot of reluctance. Usually this happens because they either met at the guys place or because the guy came directly to theirs. Now if you just wanna f*ck (which maybe you decided you wanted after the Skype date) then that’s fine. But if you meet at a guys place or he comes directly to yours then to a guy you’ve made an unspoken agreement to have sex. And a guy WILL be disappointed or at least confused if you don’t want to in such a situation. So don’t EVER meet directly at a guys place or yours if your plan is not to have sex. Now you know.

3. The most common mis-matched (pun-intended) is that the girl and guy who meet have very different expectations or interest in what might become of their relationship. The girl wants a relationship, and the guy just wants to f*ck. Or maybe the girl is also game for a casual f*ck, but would rather have that be something that naturally and slowly progresses rather than happens on the first date. With one simple phrase you can weed out every “I just want to fuck you on the first date, leave you unsatisfied, and never see you again” guy you might otherwise be putting yourself in a compromising position with. Somewhere towards the beginning of a chat with a match say (just copy and past the following phrase) “fyi: I’m not a prude, but my policy is I don’t sleep with a guy until after I’m in monogamous committed relationship with them”. Every guy who’s not interested in a possible relationship will immediately move on at the sound of those words. Of course you can always sleep with the guy sooner if you want to, but it’ll drastically weed out all the “one night stand only” guys you might’ve otherwise gone on a date and wasted your time with. …Prepare to be “unmatched” a lot after using this line, haha. 

If you have a question about any other situation or trouble you’ve been facing while “online dating” leave a comment below, and I’ll reply with my thoughts on the best solution for you. 

5 Things I Wish I Knew In High School

5 Things I Wish I Knew In High School

1. Not one girl that I had a crush on when I was kid do I still find attractive. So don't worry whether the pretty girls like you or not until after high school because the girls who are gorgeous when they're young (high school) are usually at their peak. I’ve seen a few exceptions, but they’re rare. As a bonus 1.5 …hang out with “the smart kids and/or ambitious kids” …they usually make the best long-term friends.

2. Exercise, and eat healthy food. It will make you happier, more attractive, and give you tons of longterm and short-term health benefits. 

3. When it comes to your career don't listen to your parents …listen to your heart. Your parents will want what is SAFEST for you, not what is best for you. I actually wish I’d never gone to any school beyond elementary. It’s the single biggest waste of time during the most valuable years of your life. Learn like crazy. Read books, find mentors, & learn skills. I will not suggest to my children that they go to school. I’m going to home school them and teach valuable wisdom and skills that excite them. People remember very little that doesn’t excite them or that they can’t immediately apply. 

4. Learn as many languages as possible. The majority of what you learn in school will be useless the minute you leave school, but the language skills you acquire will transform your life. If that doesn't sound convincing enough then answer this …do you like Spanish boys, do you like Japanese girls? …etc. Well very few of those people can speak English, but if you speak their language they will suddenly appear on your dating food chain. Winning!

5. Become good at something artistic. You don't have to learn to be a great rock guitarist to impress girls or to find self-fulfillment, but having something like playing the harmonica, the beat box, painting, dancing or anything that you do well and can easily practice. It will make you both a more attractive and happier person. 

Is your boyfriend inconsiderate?

Is your boyfriend inconsiderate? …Maybe he is, but before you judge for certain, read this…

I’ve been dating a girl recently and a of couple times in the past few weeks I’ve done things she thought were really inconsiderate. She told me that I wasn’t considering her feelings before I did these things; and that upset her. We had our first serious arguments.

What frustrated me about every one of the situations is that I really thought that I was considering her feelings. I consider myself a considerate guy, and I care a lot about her interests.  I thought she would react one way, but she reacted completely the opposite to how I expected. I tried to explain that I just got it wrong, but that only made her feel more like I didn’t understand her or consider her feelings in the first place.

Finally I came up with an analogy that made sense to both of us…

My mom often buys me gifts that I don’t like. She’ll buy me food that isn’t the type I usually eat. She buys me clothes that aren’t the style I wear. Sometimes she gets it right, but she often doesn’t. It used to make me feel almost physically sick when my mom would buy me gifts like this. How could someone who’s raised me all my life and who loves me so much get what I want so wrong?? Does she not love me? Is she just completely out of touch with who I am? Nope. My mom loves me more than her own life, and after spending eighteen years raising me she knows me pretty well. 

Sometimes even the people who love and understand us the most just get it horribly wrong. It’s not that they don’t care about or understand us. When it comes to guys and girls we often just have different thoughts on what we enjoy, and what’s important. So even if you feel like you’ve explained yourself or your boyfriend should know better give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t get mad. Just explain yourself again, maybe in a different way this time, and the future the percentage of how often he gets it right will go up. He’ll soon realize he has the most understanding and least reactive girlfriend on the planet, and that’s something the right guy will definitely appreciate.

What Makes A Girl Attractive To Guys - Four Things That Will Make You Formidably Sexy!

What Makes A Girl Attractive To Guys - Four Things That Will Make You Formidably Sexy!

Obviously I’m speaking from my own perspective, but since I have a lot of guy friends I can say that the vast majority of them feel the same way.

These qualities are what makes a girl attractive as a longterm girlfriend or wife. Not in what would make you attractive enough for a guy to what to have sex with you …that’s easy. Just tell a guy you wanna have sex with him directly, and if he’s single he’ll most likely say "yes!". 

But when it comes to qualities that will really make you stand out to guys as “serious girlfriend material” these qualities (maybe surprisingly to some girls) top the list. 

1. Be aesthetically low maintenance. 

Things like the way your nails look, your designer bag, your trendy clothes, awesome make-up …etc. mean almost nothing to most guys. If anything those things are often a negative, because it says to guys “It’s a financial burden to date me”. Those things are complicated looking. Guys don’t like complicated. Every guy I know would appreciate it a hundred times more if a girl went to the gym and did squats and push-ups than if she bought a new outfit and got her nails done. Working out hard and lifting heavy weights demonstrates guts and drive. If you want guys to go crazy for you then be really physically fit. A firm butt and flat stomach beats great make-up and clothes every time. Like attracts like. If you want to be with a fit guy you should be fit yourself. 

2. Exemplify a healthy lifestyle and be responsible. 

Don’t drink or smoke. Again this is just a health aspect and when a guy is even remotely at the point of being ready to commit to a girl then evolutionary psychology says he’s thinking about the type of girl that would make a good mother. Girls that smoke, drink, don’t eat healthy, and don’t take care of their own bodies don’t give the appearance that they would do a good job of taking care of children either. Show that you’d be a great and responsible mom. That’s so sexy!

3. Be confident.

I went out with a really good looking FHM model on a couple dates. The second date she asked me multiple times, “Do you think I’m pretty?” “Do you like me?”, and a lot of other very unconfident sounding questions. Nothing drives a guy more crazy than a girl getting upset every time he glances at another attractive girl or he likes some other girls picture on Instagram. Demonstrate that you’re confident and that you know that you’re the best option by not caring about petty things like that. When a guy doesn’t feel that you “need” him and that you’d be just fine without him he will hold onto you for dear life. There’s also no need to constantly post pictures of every gift he gives you or romantic situation you all share together on Facebook. Doing that doesn’t exude confidence, and it seems way too needy a clingy. 

4. Increase the power and capacity of your brain. 

Read books and constantly look out for way to increase the amount of knowledge, skills, and wisdom contained in your head. When I see a girl reading a book (especially if it’s on a subject I’m interested in as well) my “this is a girl I want to get to know better button” starts flashing red and a siren goes off in my heart. Smart is sexy!

So to sum up….

1. Be aesthetically low maintenance. 

2. Exemplify a healthy lifestyle.

3. Be confident in yourself (and with the idea of being by yourself).

4. Increase the power and capacity of your brain. 

These four things that will make you formidably sexy partner to virtually every potential guy you’d actually want to date.