I’ve been on lots of Tinder dates (with girls). Many of those girls I’ve ended up becoming friends with. This and the fact that I like to think of myself as a decent sort of person has led me to care about the girls I’ve gone out with, and notice that many of them go on a lot of unnecessarily shitty dates. At worst they end up having sex with guys they wish they hadn’t, or at “best” in very awkward dating situations feeling unsatisfied or misled.
Fortunately with just three changes to they way you deal with the guys you talk to all of this can be pretty easily avoided.
1. Using Tinder girls often end up on “awkward dates”. They texted with the guy and found him charming, but in person there’s just no chemistry. Solution to solving this problem: Have a quick Skype or Google chat (whatever video chat app you use) before you meet. This can save you a lot of time! Once you decide you might want to meet a guy (you can create a “fake account” if you feel the need to so as to not use your real identity) say to him “Hey, you seem cool. I’m up for tea/drink/coffee, but I always like to meet on “Skype” for a second before I go on a date with a stranger. I’m running out the door, but I’ve just got 5min. Here’s my Skype: username.” Then you both jump on Skype, after 5min you say you need to run. From there you can asses as to whether you actually want to go on a date with the guy. It will only have cost you 5min of your life from the comfort of your own home, and any guy who’s not willing to do this isn’t worth going on a date with anyway. Most guys will really appreciate and respect you for this. I know I would.
2. Girls end up getting somewhat “raped” …I say somewhat because it’s not totally against their will, but it’s with a lot of reluctance. Usually this happens because they either met at the guys place or because the guy came directly to theirs. Now if you just wanna f*ck (which maybe you decided you wanted after the Skype date) then that’s fine. But if you meet at a guys place or he comes directly to yours then to a guy you’ve made an unspoken agreement to have sex. And a guy WILL be disappointed or at least confused if you don’t want to in such a situation. So don’t EVER meet directly at a guys place or yours if your plan is not to have sex. Now you know.
3. The most common mis-matched (pun-intended) is that the girl and guy who meet have very different expectations or interest in what might become of their relationship. The girl wants a relationship, and the guy just wants to f*ck. Or maybe the girl is also game for a casual f*ck, but would rather have that be something that naturally and slowly progresses rather than happens on the first date. With one simple phrase you can weed out every “I just want to fuck you on the first date, leave you unsatisfied, and never see you again” guy you might otherwise be putting yourself in a compromising position with. Somewhere towards the beginning of a chat with a match say (just copy and past the following phrase) “fyi: I’m not a prude, but my policy is I don’t sleep with a guy until after I’m in monogamous committed relationship with them”. Every guy who’s not interested in a possible relationship will immediately move on at the sound of those words. Of course you can always sleep with the guy sooner if you want to, but it’ll drastically weed out all the “one night stand only” guys you might’ve otherwise gone on a date and wasted your time with. …Prepare to be “unmatched” a lot after using this line, haha.
If you have a question about any other situation or trouble you’ve been facing while “online dating” leave a comment below, and I’ll reply with my thoughts on the best solution for you.