Is your boyfriend inconsiderate? …Maybe he is, but before you judge for certain, read this…
I’ve been dating a girl recently and a of couple times in the past few weeks I’ve done things she thought were really inconsiderate. She told me that I wasn’t considering her feelings before I did these things; and that upset her. We had our first serious arguments.
What frustrated me about every one of the situations is that I really thought that I was considering her feelings. I consider myself a considerate guy, and I care a lot about her interests. I thought she would react one way, but she reacted completely the opposite to how I expected. I tried to explain that I just got it wrong, but that only made her feel more like I didn’t understand her or consider her feelings in the first place.
Finally I came up with an analogy that made sense to both of us…
My mom often buys me gifts that I don’t like. She’ll buy me food that isn’t the type I usually eat. She buys me clothes that aren’t the style I wear. Sometimes she gets it right, but she often doesn’t. It used to make me feel almost physically sick when my mom would buy me gifts like this. How could someone who’s raised me all my life and who loves me so much get what I want so wrong?? Does she not love me? Is she just completely out of touch with who I am? Nope. My mom loves me more than her own life, and after spending eighteen years raising me she knows me pretty well.
Sometimes even the people who love and understand us the most just get it horribly wrong. It’s not that they don’t care about or understand us. When it comes to guys and girls we often just have different thoughts on what we enjoy, and what’s important. So even if you feel like you’ve explained yourself or your boyfriend should know better give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t get mad. Just explain yourself again, maybe in a different way this time, and the future the percentage of how often he gets it right will go up. He’ll soon realize he has the most understanding and least reactive girlfriend on the planet, and that’s something the right guy will definitely appreciate.
